I was very fortunate to be brought up by parents that genuinely care about other people, and their feelings.  We were taught that there are some things you should never ask people, such as: how much money they make, when they are going to have children, why they look a certain way … and similar things.  Even as a child, I was acutely aware of how people reacted to certain questions, and decided that I would never want to be someone that would say something that would either ” put someone on the spot ” , make them feel uncomfortable, or just plain ask something that is none of my business.

     Sadly, not everyone was taught to respect others’ privacy, or to use tact and courtesy when speaking with others.  It is one thing to ask someone you know well something personal, but it is an entirely different matter when you ask people you barely know those same personal questions, in front of other people, seemingly without giving any thought to how they may feel. 

     I didn’t even develop much of a sense of humour until just a few years ago, because I was always afraid that someone might take me seriously if I joked around with them.  The thought of offending someone, or possibly hurting their feelings, is one of the most horrible things I could imagine doing.  My Mother always told us ” If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything. “  I’ve always tried my best to stick as close to that as possible, but being only human, I’m sure I’ve slipped up from time to time.  One thing I can say for sure is that I would never intentionally say something ( or ask a question ) that might upset someone, and I would never discuss someone’s personal business within earshot of other people.  I respect peoples’ privacy, whether I know them, or not.

     Most people use some tact when dealing with others, and most people have a reasonable grasp of what is/isn’t appropriate to say/ask, especially to people they don’t know very well.  “Political Correctness” may have gone a little too far in some areas ( people are afraid to joke about anything anymore ) but I do think that if more people seriously thought about what they were about to say or ask, before they did it, that would be a good thing.  Even if you don’t intend on being rude, you may be perceived that way, and you may upset someone … and why would anyone want to do that ?

     I love Las Vegas.  I love the fact that it is only a two and a half hour flight from Vancouver, and it is an affordable  getaway when you need one, and may be short on time or cash.  Mostly, I love that it is really hot and sunny, and it is a dry heat - the best kind.  Oh yeah, and there are palm trees there.  Hot sun and palm trees are two of my very favourite things in life.

     A lot of people seem to think that you have to be a big gambler or partier to go there, but not so.  Sure, if you’re into it, you can stay out late, spend a lot of money, and do crazy stuff  … but there are so many other things to do there. 

     To me, a vacation is generally about trying to forget the daily stress of life, the crazy fast-paced world we live in, the sleep-deprivation etc.  It is a time to relax, worry about nothing, and lay by the pool, feeling the hot sun recharging you …  nothing makes me happier.

     I thoroughly enjoy trying the various restaurants in the city, going to see fabulously entertaining shows, and doing a little shopping, but I mainly go to relax, and lose the goosebumps that I constantly have from living somewhere that never really gets more than warm.  ( I know, I’d be much happier living in desert-like conditions - everyone who knows me has been telling me that for years. )

     I can’t wait for the next time I can go to Vegas.  Just thinking about it helps me get through the tough times of everyday life, and gives me something to look forward to.  I’ve been looking on Expedia.ca recently, and the prices are really good there right now …

     The older I get, the more disappointed I am to see how society seems to be o.k. with the fact that families have far less time together than they did when we were young.  There have been so many references to the “breakdown of the family unit” over the years, yet there doesn’t seem to be anyone trying to reverse the damage.

     It may sound old-fashioned, but I remember a time when you sat down at the dinner table every night with your Mom and Dad and brothers and sisters, talked about your day, made plans together, and actually knew what each other was up to , interested in etc.    You did not leave the table without politely asking to be excused.  There was no watching t.v. or running off to play video games or text your friends - you actually had to face real people, engage in conversation, learn social skills.  This is why, as adults, we are capable of having good relationships with others - we spent quality time with people that cared about us, and we cared about. We learned to think about people other than ourselves.

     In the present, both parents usually have to work, kids get less supervision, and the result is way more stress, and more problems.  People struggle just to pay the bills, ( even on 2 incomes ) they come home miserable after a bad day at work, then their children or partners get the brunt of it …. what happened  to quality family time?

     The thing that bothers me the most is that “back in the day”, hard work, honesty, reliability and integrity got you somewhere in a job.  You put in your 40 hours, got your 2 days off, were home for dinner every night ( because that was important family time ) and could plan things.  Companies seemed to value their employees, and they were open for business certain days and times, then closed so people could have lives.

     I realize that times have changed, and many companies are having a hard time staying afloat, but why does everything always have to boil down to greed, and making more money ?  Businesses are now all about staying open later every night, being open 7 days a week … but, at what cost?  (Yes, there are certain essential services that must be available 24 hours a day, but do we really need stores open all the time? ) Any intelligent employer knows that treating your employees with respect and dignity and fairness will result in them respecting you back, and being a better employee.  When you start making your workers stay later, ( therefore missing dinner with family ) or come in on a normal day off ( again tearing them away from quality time with loved ones ) you are going to have a bitter employee. 

     Everybody needs sufficient “down time” - time to relax, unwind, recharge their batteries, so to speak.  Parents need time with each other, and their children, couples need time together … but everyone seems to want everything now, nobody is willing to wait for anything, and many think the world revolves around just them.  As a result, businesses feel they need to be open all the time, to make sure they make all the customers happy all the time ( and that they get more money themselves ). What about their employees - don’t they deserve a life?  Wouldn’t a company rather retain good, quality employees by giving them time to have a life?

     Everything does not need to be open all the time. Change is not always a good thing.  Convenience has gone too far. 

     What do you think?

I’m very pleased to let you know that My Jazz CD “Beginning To See The Light” is now available digitally!

Giving new life to old music has always been fascinating and means a lot to me. My first professional release was Jazz instead of pop as I was greatly influenced by my friend Michael Buble as well as the vocal jazz performances in Vancouver. I blogged more about that here.
Music by Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, and the ‘Crooners’ reminds me of wonderful music that brings me where I am today in the music world. I grew up listening to meaningful music and lyrics from Jo Stafford, Peggy Lee, and Judy Garland. What I liked the most about this kind of music was the purity in their vocals and meaningful lyrics. My passion for music led me to explore and study flute, piano, singing and acting.

Through my album of jazz classics ‘Beginning To See The Light’ I have rediscovered my passion for 80’s pop and disco music, and realized that despite my love for Jazz, that is my true calling.
I am touched to hear that my album has a nostalgic touch and has brought back fond memories of high school days to many of my listeners. Working hard and hearing that my work has touched someone’s life with sweet memories brings me the satisfaction and confidence to create more such music.

Talking about ‘Beginning To See The Light’, I am thrilled with the wonderful reviews from my international listeners over the years. Friends and fans have recognized my work on this CD… One of my fans wrote she likes ‘Beginning To See The Light’ so much that she listens to this CD whenever she is home. The first song on the album has received great reviews. We worked very hard and spent a great deal to put this album together in the best way possible and it is so delightful to hear from listeners that “the songs have been beautifully arranged to make my voice shine”. Hearing it being called a “playful yet sophisticated arrangement” was such a motivation to make this album available in more than just CD format, as individual songs as well through iTunes, Napster, Rhapsody, eMusic, Amazon MP3, Groupietunes for mobile ringtones, and more, linked on my music page. It’s also available in regular CD format on CD Baby.

I am thankful to all my friends and listeners for promoting my work mostly through word of mouth. I believe it is a great strength to have such wonderful people like you who ensure that I am able to bring out the best in my work and also that more people get to know my music.

Pretty much everyone has something they enjoy doing that relieves the stress of daily life.  When I lived in the city, my favourite way to “let go” of anything negative in my life, was to hit the dancefloor at local clubs.  Any of my friends can tell you that I LOVE to dance.  (”Love” probably isn’t even a strong enough word. ) When I am dancing to music I love, surrounded by a few friends, with lights flashing - I feel completely free.  It’s as if nothing bad can touch you, and you can absolutely be yourself, “let go”, and let the music transport you to a better place  … what an incredible feeling.

Now that I have relocated to The Sunshine Coast, well, they don’t exactly have clubs up here… so going out dancing is a little bit more difficult.  It’s alright, though, because I have found something else that I am really enjoying that helps get rid of stress - hiking.  O.k., once the people that know me well stop laughing after reading that -  I’m not exactly known for being what one would label an “outdoorsy” type - I hope they will keep on reading.  There are some fabulous places to hike up here, and we are taking full advantage of living in such a beautiful area.

Two weekends ago, we hiked to our favourite spot, out at Smuggler’s Cove, and just last weekend, went to the Skookumchuck.  It is fresh air - and believe me, the air up here is very fresh - exercise, a great way to spend time together and talk, or just enjoy the sounds of nature. We really enjoy taking pictures along the way, as well.  The reward, at the end of the trail, is always a breathtaking view of the water, while sitting atop a big rock.  It is easy to forget anything you had been worrying about when you are surrounded by such gorgeous scenery.

By the time you get back home, your calves may be aching a bit, but you really feel like you accomplished something.  You end up feeling great, and it sure makes for a peaceful, sound sleep later that night.  As the weather continues to get warmer, I am looking forward to exploring more hiking trails up here.  It’s wonderful to have found another active way to let go of anything negative.

     As a young girl, I took piano lessons.  My Piano Teacher also taught voice, and she encouraged me to both play piano, and sing, in various festivals - usually Royal Conservatory ones.  I’ll admit, I did not relish practicing the piano - the scales and technical stuff really didn’t interest me that much.  I found it boring compared with playing songs I liked.  I always enjoyed hearing a record, then trying to play the song on the piano.

My Teacher helped me get quite far in both piano, and voice - to the point that performing in public was tolerable.  I have never been one that liked having the spotlight on me - a fact that many find funny.  They fail to understand that just because you enjoying singing/dancing/acting/playing an instrument etc., it does not mean that you have a ton of self-confidence, and feel comfortable in front of lots of people.  One of the most difficult things for many artists I know to deal with is their love of singing or playing vs. their natural shyness.  When I was younger, I always assumed famous performers were either extremely self-assured, or maybe even terribly conceited.  As an adult, I now know that although that may be true of some, many more struggle just to do the thing that brings them joy.  Not everyone wants to be the center of attention, just because they feel the need to perform.

I have quite a few friends that have incredible voices, but absolutely hate it whenever they have to get up and sing in front of others.  They know they can sing, they know people will respond well, but they just don’t enjoy the feeling of “all eyes on them”.  I guess it’s not much different than people who fear speaking in public.  Some of us don’t get that, some may relate, but it doesn’t matter - we all have things that make us uncomfortable - it’s not a matter of right or wrong.

Even though I used to dislike it when my Dad made me practice my scales and things on the piano, I am obviously glad now that he did.  It’s  nice to be able to sit down and play every once in a while, when I have some free time.  ( You may feel a bit rusty, but the fingers always seem to remember which keys to go to next. )

I don’t tell many people that I used to play piano, because then they want you to sing and play, which I don’t enjoy.  I prefer to do them one at a time.  ( o.k., at Christmas time, I don’t mind playing and singing along with friends to some old favourites )  Generally, I like to focus on one thing only - either playing, or singing.

One thing I had almost forgotten - until  digging up an old folder after I moved recently - was that my Teacher had also encouraged me to write songs - both music and lyrics.  I wrote a ton of things when I was young - mostly poetry about heartbreak, and romantic lyrics for “love songs” … but I rarely showed anyone, for fear that they might think I was silly.  Although ( back then ) I had the technical ability to write songs, I always loved writing lyrics the most.

The past couple of weeks, I have been thinking again about writing lyrics.  I suddenly have a bunch of ideas , and words, running through my head, and am hoping to put them down on paper soon.  I would love to work with my Producer, Jarome Matthew, on some songs - I would write lyrics, and he could put them to music.  He and I have talked about this casually in the past, but now it feels really important to me.  I will let you know if anything comes of my ideas …

     At the end of each day, I find myself trying to keep my eyes open for just a few minutes longer, so that I can get a couple more things accomplished before I fall asleep.  It has been said by many that there aren’t enough hours in a day, and although we’ve all heard that expression, I think it really is more than that - it has become true, because of the way we live our lives. 

     Think about how the hours in our days are supposed to be distributed - 8 hours for sleep ( ideally ) 8 hours ( or more ) for work ( for your average person ), which leaves only 8 hours for absolutely everything else.  How many hours in a day do you spend getting ready for work, preparing, eating, and cleaning up after meals, working out, doing housework, and running errands ? What about paying bills, making appointments, or being “on hold” on the phone with some company you are trying to contact ? If your work requires you to take courses, you may have homework and/or studying to do at night, as well.  How many minutes and hours do all these things add up to in your life?

     Most of these things are not considered optional - they must be done.  So, we sleep, we work, then we try to get as many “essential” tasks completed as we can, while we can stay awake … so we can get back up again the next day, and do it all over again.  Sounds fulfilling, doesn’t it ?  ( yeah, not so much . )

     What I wonder is, when do we have time to do things we enjoy, or are interested in ?  You know - maybe put up your feet and read a good book, go dancing, attend a social function, work on a hobby ?  What about spending relaxed, quality time with your partner/family/friends ? When is the last time you put pen to paper, and wrote someone you care about a real letter - not e-mail, texting etc. - a letter that requires some effort.  Most of us don’t even pick up the phone to keep in touch any more, as we feel we don’t have time for lengthy conversations.  Trying to keep up with answering e-mails on several accounts, replying on Facebook, telling everyone what you’re doing every 5 minutes on Twitter, writing your Blog posts - well, who has time left over for real communication ?

     It has been said that we must “make time” or “find time” to do the things that make us happy, the things that bring us joy, or that are important to us.  In fact, we are so busy just trying to get ready to go to work, so we can try and pay our bills by being at work all day, that we neither have the time nor energy for much else, when we do get home.

     Trying to cram everything into a 24 hour period usually results in one or more important things suffering - often it is sleep, proper nutrition, exercise, or the ability to relax, or let go of stress.  We feel we have to do a couple more loads of laundry, finish the work we didn’t have time to complete at the Office, or figure out the monthly bills -  before we allow ourselves time for the things we really need.  Next thing we know, we look at the clock, and realize we have to be up for work in 5 hours, we are exhausted, and haven’t done anything “just for us” that night.

     I recently had 3 days off, and I turned my cell phone off, didn’t even log onto the computer, and what a difference that made.  I was able to get some errands done, spend time with people I care about, get out and do things I enjoy, and now I feel refreshed, instead of weary.  You’d think I would feel happy, but now I am behind on my housework, my e-mails, and pretty much everything else that I “need” to do …

     … and I’m o.k. with that, because life really is too short, and I’d rather spend more time on the things and people that really matter, than on the things I pile onto my “to do” list, which is always an unrealistic list.  Bottom line is: with all the pressures we put on ourselves today, and the need to work hard just to scrape by, there really isn’t enough time left over for us to be well-rested, and emotionally, physically, and spiritually healthy.  So, what are we going to do about our current pace of life?  Has so-called “progress” and technology improved our quality of life ? Are we happier and healthier today than our parents were back in the day ? ( I think  not )

     It’s never too late to take a look at our priorities, and to try and stop putting so much pressure on ourselves.  Life can be tough, and most of the time it is, but there has to be a reason for it.  We have to find a way to enjoy it, even once in a while - at least that’s a start.

     In a couple of days, there will be an event called:

I Will Wear Something Pink on February 25th & Take a Stand Against Bullying .

     I noticed this on Facebook, and hope that even more people will get involved this year.  Anyone who has either witnessed bullying, or been a victim of it, can tell you how damaging and far-reaching the effects can be.  Although physical attacks are horrible, it’s the psychological damage that can be done to a victim that can be even more scary.  The effects of a bully’s cruel words can last well into adulthood. 

     I have seen many talkshows where victims of bullies want to face them, and tell them how they ruined their lives, and the sad thing is: many of the bullies either don’t remember the person, don’t remember doing it, or say ” it was a joke “.  Well, it’s not a joke.

     Bullies tend to pick on people they view as “weak” - kind, gentle, sweet people, who can’t/won’t fight back.  Obviously, the bully has self-esteem issues him/herself, or they wouldn’t need to appear ” tough ” or “cool “, or whatever their warped mind perceives their actions to make them.  As an adult, it’s easy to see that bullies have unhappy lives themselves, or they wouldn’t feel the need to try and make someone else feel lower than them.  As a child, however, the victim of a bully only feels worthless.  Public humiliation only re-enforces these feelings.

     Unfortunately, bullying does not stop in the schoolyard.  There seems to be one in every workplace, as well.  It may not be as obvious ( they may not physically or verbally threaten others ) but they may just be loud and obnoxious, boss others around ( delusions of grandeur, perhaps ? ) and act like they own the place.  What I don’t get, is why does society tolerate any of this ?  What ever happened to being nice to one another ?  I guess that takes more effort, and many people aren’t capable of caring about anyone beyond themselves. ( victims of bad parenting, I daresay . )

     Anyway, I hope that everyone who cares about others will wear pink on Feb. 25th,  support all the victims of bullying, and send a clear message that bullying is not acceptable, and definitely not cool.

     When I was a little girl, going to school, we were taught that when the Teacher was speaking, you were quiet.  ( heck, we were taught that when anyone else was speaking, you were quiet, listened carefully, and waited your turn to speak. )  As a child, if you talked or made noise while the Teacher was talking, you got in trouble.   This was because a) it was considered extremely rude to interrupt, and b) it interfered with the other childrens’ ability to hear what the Teacher was saying, therefore affecting their ability to learn.

     It seems a simple concept to me - someone is teaching you something, you listen carefully, take notes where you feel necessary, and everyone in the room is able to clearly focus on what they are learning - no distractions ( except, perhaps the girl/boy you had a crush on  ) and definitely no interruptions. 

     That has always worked for me, even as an adult.  When I worked as a Cashier at a Grocery Store, they sent us for a week’s training, where they set up “fake checkstands” where you could get hands-on practice of various scenarios.  You were given plenty of time, in a relaxed atmosphere, to go over things many times, until you were comfortable, and confident that you had grasped the concepts.

     I am the kind of person that learns best like that - with encouragement, starting slowly, not being “pushed”, “rushed”, or overwhelmed with too much information at once.  I would rather perfect one skill at a time, than be forced to move on to something new, before I feel sure of myself with the last thing.  In other words, I would much prefer to be really good at a few things, rather than “okay” at many.

     Unfortunately, times have changed, and now many companies seem to use Online Training.  ( I am guessing this saves both time and money, in their opinion ) At my last job, I used to feel so badly for the kids, sitting in the back room on the computer, trying to concentrate on things, while constantly being interrupted by people talking and laughing loudly in the next room. ( not to mention the phone ringing, the intercom going off etc. )  How is anyone supposed to retain any information this way?  It’s hard enough staring at a computer screen all day, reading words that you should be experiencing for yourself, instead, but then to have to keep re-reading, because you have been interrupted so many times ?  That’s just plain not fair.

     I know everyone learns differently, but most people I know need a proper learning environment, which means “peace and quiet”, and nothing to distract them.  Wouldn’t a good Company prefer their new employees to actually retain most of the info they are reading?  Wouldn’t that mean they would perform their duties better, therefore making their Customers happier, and more satisfied?

     It makes me sad that everything boils down to money these days, with many Companies.  Yes, I get “they have a business to run” … but at what cost?  It should be more important that their Staff receives a proper amount of time, in a relaxed, quiet environment, so that they will feel confident moving forward to the next thing.  I know that if I feel “pushed”, I will run the other way.  Have some faith, give me some time, and you may just be pleasantly surprised, long-term.  ( again - it’s funny how much staff turnover there is when training is so quick and forced )  If companies want good, well-trained employees, perhaps they should take a look back at how things were done when we were little kids.

     Unfortunately, I think that may just be wishful thinking on my part …

     Wow, I am absolutely amazed at the amount of feedback that I have received since putting my new song up on my website.  I’m getting lots of messages on my Facebook Wall, comments right on my site, e-mails, phonecalls … and so far, it has all been positive.  Thankyou to every single one of you for not only taking the time to listen, but for going that extra step further, and letting me know your thoughts.  It really is appreciated, and means so much to me.  It’s nice to know that you like it !  I sure loved singing it !