I have wanted to write a blog post about this topic for a while now, but wasn’t quite sure where to start.  I knew how I felt on the subject, but wasn’t sure how people may react to my point of view.  You see, I am not o.k. with an ” ordinary life “.  Being ” content ” would never be enough for me, nor would doing things the way everyone else does. That would just be boring.  I have never been a ” sheep ” that follows the crowd - I prefer to have my own thoughts.   I really believe that there must be more to life than the whole work-eat-sleep routine I have often referred to in my posts.  Existing is what many do - I would like to ” live “, and fully experience life, and all the joys it can bring.  Finding the key to doing that may be the tricky part …

     As I was reading the little local paper this morning, I glanced at my Horoscope, and was struck by what I read : ” For some people, living their dreams is not simply a nice idea, it is a duty.  You may be one such person. “  Now, whether you believe in horoscopes or not, this expressed precisely how I feel.  It went on to talk about the fact that I should stop worrying about the ” how and why “, and that I should take some risks.  ( something I rarely do )  It also said ” as ready as you are to embark on an adventure, a few key things must change . ”

     This all made total sense to me.  I absolutely feel that life is too short and precious to waste doing things that bring you no joy.  Most of us, at some time in our lives, have had jobs that we go to just for the paycheque, just to try and pay the bills.  We may have absolutely no interest in our job, have no desire to go there, but we dutifully go, because ” that’s what everyone does “.  We tell ourselves, ” It’s not forever “, ” it’s a means to an end ” or a ” stepping stone “, but we all know those months turn into years, and next thing we know, we’ll be retiring, and wondering why we never tried anything that really interested us, or made us happy. Work is just one example of how we sell ourselves short in life, but you get my point.

     In the past 5 years, I have thought of the things I most wanted to do, ( make a CD, and meet my childhood crush ) and have gone out and made them happen.  It’s not always easy, and things don’t always turn out quite as you expect, but even having accomplished those 2 small things ( significant to me, though ) I now have proof that dreams can come true.   We all have things we would love to do, given the opportunity - often this would require a lot of money, and/or free time - so it rarely becomes reality.   For example, I would love nothing more than to be able to work on my music every day, to have the free time to dedicate to it, that is necessary to get anywhere.  I fantasize about how wonderful it would feel to not have to go to work every day to try and pay the mortgage, or worry about bills all the time. 

     I often wonder how the ” lucky ones ” feel - the people that are already doing something they truly love and are passionate about, and either have someone financially backing or supporting them ( so they don’t have to drain their time and energy with a ” day job ” ) or they’re already making a living doing what brings them joy.  I wonder if those rare few people really realize how fortunate they are, and that they are by far the exception to the rule.  Obviously, there are those that are handed things, but I think most people that are living their lives doing what they really want to have worked very hard to make it happen.  These people were not o.k. being ” content” , either - they wanted more, and after putting their minds to it, and being willing to put in the work, time, effort and dedication needed, made things happen for themselves.  They did not just sit around wishing for a better life - they did something about it.

     It always makes me sad when I see people who look like they are weary of life.  ( I have seen that in the mirror before - I certainly don’t pretend to be happy all the time )  I wonder what those people hoped for during their lifetime.  Were there exotic destinations they’d hoped to visit one day, did they want to be an Actor, but their parents discouraged them ?  I just feel that most people, for whatever reasons, don’t allow themselves to do the things that would make them happy.  We are our own worst enemies, for the most part.  We limit ourselves, put invisible ” roadblocks ” in our own paths.  It’s easy to say ” Life has dealt me a bad hand ” or whatever, and just not bother trying based on that, but everyone deserves better than that.  It is also easy to think others are better off than us, financially, socially, whatever, but until you live their lives, you don’t really know - it is just your perception of them.  Everybody has struggles, everyone has pain - nobody has a ” perfect life “, despite appearances.

     There are a lot of things in my own life that need to change before I will feel I have truly done all I can to realize all of my own goals/dreams.  I am working on it, but am fully aware that I have a long way to go.  Perhaps not every goal will be reached, and that’s alright, as long as I at least care about myself enough to try.  It’s time to stop with the excuses/reasons why I can’t /shouldn’t do things, it’s time to stop limiting myself, or feeling I am not worthy of real happiness.  This is not just about me - most people I know are not ” living ” their lives either, they are caught in a rut, a routine, what they feel is ” normal “, what we are “expected” to do.  I say that’s not good enough.  We were not given the gift of life so that we would be unhappy, exhausted, and complain all the time.  There has to be more to it, and it’s up to us to actually do something about it. 

     I plan on continuing to set goals for myself, and am hopeful that I may reach some more of them.  I don’t want to waste any more precious time.

     What would you really love to do?  What are you interested in, and without making any excuses, why aren’t you going after it with every fibre of your being ?  Living our dreams is not simply a nice idea - it is our duty, and it is the best gift we can ever give ourselves.  No regrets - no ” what if’s ” - no wondering - just be happy.  If we don’t try, we may never know …

     Since I started doing some singing and acting a few years back, there have been several times when I have either had to get professional headshots done, or full-on photoshoots.  I, like most people, do not particularly like having my picture taken.  We all have certain features we don’t mind about ourselves, and we all have things we’d sooner not see too closely, in the wrong light, or at a bad angle.

     Personally, I think about 95% of pictures I have seen of myself are not very good.  I know we are all most critical of ourselves, but you have to admit, we’ve all seen not-so-flattering pics of pretty much everyone we know -  it happens.  I guess I always assumed that if you paid good money to a professional photographer, you would end up looking good, somehow.  Unfortunately, this is not always the case.

     I have been to quite a few Vancouver photographers, and I have to say that the only one who truly ” captured my essence ” ( in my opinion ) was the magnificent Kevin Clark.  I first met Kevin and his wife in 2005, when we did promotional shots, as well as the cover shot for my CD, “I’m Beginning To See The Light “.  They were a class act from the moment we walked in there.  His wife ( also a Makeup Artist ) totally respected the fact that I have my own ” look “, and that I’d pretty much done my own makeup before arriving.  She did a bit of ” tweaking ” to prepare me for the camera, but she let me look like me, which made me totally relaxed.

     She and Kevin were both super nice, great people, and I liked them both instantly.  The photoshoot was definitely one of the most fun things I have ever done - it was my 1st real photoshoot, and I’ll never forget it.  It was every little girl’s fantasy - to feel like a princess for a few hours - to look in the mirror and not mind what you see.  Anyone who knows me well knows that I am naturally a very shy person, but during that session, I felt anything but shy.  It was nice for once to not feel self-conscious, to just relax, and let the real me shine through.  Kevin totally brought that out of me.

     I would highly recommend Kevin Clark to anyone who is looking for good quality promo/headshots in the Vancouver area.  To this day, I have never seen any pictures of myself that have been so “true” to what I look like, as his were.

Heather Photoshoot 2005

Attitude

Playful

Serious

     When my 1920’s - 1950’s Big Band/Swing/Lounge CD ” I’m Beginning To See The Light ” came out in 2005, I knew it was going to be difficult to get much promotion, since nobody knew who I was.  I didn’t have any famous person endorsing me, or any financial backing of any kind - I paid for everything myself, and people basically heard about me by word of mouth.  Friends, family and co-workers were wonderful - they came to my CD Release Party, bought CD’s either there, online at CD Baby, or from me directly, and they told their friends and families about me.

     My dream was just that people would like my CD, and that perhaps, with some luck, I would ” break even ” financially.  Well, I did get a lot of positive feedback  regarding the CD, and that made me very happy.  It is always great to hear that people like something you have done - it makes you feel that maybe you were right to believe in yourself for once,  to take a chance , and do something that is important to you, something you truly are passionate about.  Sadly, when virtually no one knows who you are, for the most part, nobody really cares to give you a chance, in ” the Industry. “  I never even came anywhere close to ” breaking even ” in terms of the money I had to spend to make the CD.

     I remember my Dad being quite upset that the local Vancouver Radio Stations weren’t putting my songs into rotation.  He asked me about the whole ” Canadian Content ” thing on the radio stations, and he felt it was ridiculous that I couldn’t get anyone in my own city to care enough to play my CD.  It seemed as though if you weren’t either rich or famous, you would never be given a chance.  ( When you think about that, how can an “unknown” artist ever become known, if no one is willing to give them some exposure ? )

     On June 24th, 2005, I received an e-mail from a Radio Show Host in Buenos Aires, Argentina.  His name was José Luis Ajzenmesser, and he told me he had a radio show entitled ” La Guagua “, and at that time, it had been on the air for about 14 years, primarily playing Jazz.  He said he had come across some of my song clips online, and he really liked what he had heard.  He then asked if I would mind sending him a CD, so that he might play some of my songs on his show in future.  I had no idea who this man was, and I will admit, at first, I wasn’t sure about it all.  I am not in the habit of mailing things to complete strangers, and I didn’t know anything about him.

     After exchanging several more e-mails, and finding out that he truly did host a radio show, and genuinely liked my music, I decided to mail him a CD.  I thought perhaps he would listen to it, and maybe play one of my songs on his show some time, at best.  Well, after he received my CD and listened to the entire thing, he e-mailed me back, and told me how much he loved it.  Obviously, that made me feel good, since he hosted a Jazz  Show on the radio.  I thought it was very kind of him, and I didn’t think much more would come of it.

     I got yet another e-mail, telling me that he was going to dedicate half an hour of one of his shows to my CD, on Sept. 1st, 2005.  I could not believe it.  A complete stranger had heard bits of my songs online, and liked them so much that they were willing to play my songs for half an hour straight.  This was not in my city, or even my Country, but in Argentina.  I was completely blown away.  José was true to his word - he talked about me on his show, played 6 of my songs, and an online friend from Buenos Aires translated for a few of us while the show was on, so we’d know what he was saying about me.  That was one of the most amazing, kind things anyone has ever done for me.  He even played ” You Belong To Me ” ( my personal favourite ) twice, because he said he always loved that song since he was younger, and he enjoyed my version so much.

     I will never forget that wonderful man for dedicating that half hour of his show to me, and my CD.  It’s nice to know that somewhere in the world, a complete stranger was willing to take a chance on an ” unknown artist “, and play my music for his listeners. 

     I have to wonder if things will ever change here, though… why won’t radio stations support more local artists, and give them a chance to be heard ? It just seems wrong to get more support from a stranger than in your own city …. any thoughts ?

     I would like to start the New Year off by wishing all of you a very happy, healthy, and prosperous 2010 !  2009 was, by many accounts, a very difficult year for most of us, with the bad economy and all.  It has been a struggle just to get by, to try and keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. Many people had their hours cut back, or lost their jobs entirely. It was a tough year - full of struggles, dampened hopes, and many tears.

     Somehow, we made it through, and although we may be stronger for it, it still wasn’t pleasant.  I, for one, am glad to see the end of 2009, as it was definitely not one of the better years in my life, or for many people I know.

     I recently made a comment on Facebook about how I look forward to the ” feeling ” ( whether that be perceived or real ) of a ” clean slate ” when a new year approaches.  It really doesn’t matter if it is simply how we view it, or if it is real - what matters is what we do with it.  Personally, I think of it as having hope that things will improve, that we will be given a ” fresh start “, that we have another chance to make good choices - choices that will improve our lives, and hopefully, the lives of others.

     I am not one to make New Year’s Resolutions per se, and broadcast them to anyone who will listen, but today, I have already written down a list of goals for myself for this year.  Telling people the things you are ” going to do ” is great, and it is a positive thing to actually speak the words and ” put it out there “, but the older I get, the more I realize I’d rather “do” than just “say”.  It is very easy to say things, but much harder to actually put in the time and effort, and make them happen.  The way I see it, I have my personal list, and as I accomplish items on that list, I will share them with family and friends.  I have nothing to prove to anyone - my list is simply for me, and the people that care about me will be happy when I put my hopes into action….

     I hope that all of you have hopes, dreams, or goals that you want to realize this year - things that you enjoy but have perhaps put off, things that you don’t feel are important enough, whatever the case may be.  If there is some thing you love to do, or would love to try ( and it isn’t hurting anyone else ) - why not let this be the year you actually do it, or try it?  I know I say this all the time, but life really is too short to only dream/wish/hope/imagine, and not DO something to make yourself happy.  It is very easy to blame others, or your financial situation, or your work environment, ( or any number of things ) or find reasons why you shouldn’t or ” can’t ” do things for yourself - believe me, I know - but ultimately, all excuses or fears aside, nobody else can make us happy.  All we have to do is love ourselves enough to make the things we hope for become our reality.  If you feel you can’t do it on your own, friends and family always have words of encouragement for you to follow your dreams, and that will get you through even the darkest of times.

     On that note, I would, once again, like to thank everyone who has supported me during this hard year - knowing you believe in me, and my music, gives me great strength.  Whether it be kind words of encouragement, compliments on things I have accomplished, buying my CD or downloading a song, or most importantly - being there with a hug when I need it most - your support has helped me enormously. Your continued faith in me is truly what keeps me going.

     All the best to you, and your families, for a fabulous 2010 !

     I recorded ” I Want To Know What Love Is ” over a year ago, and have been patiently waiting for things to fall into place so that we could finally get it up on iTunes.   It has been a long road, but we have achieved partial success.  The reason I say partial, is that due to licensing issues (  long story ) we were able to get it up pretty much everywhere, except in the U.S.A.  This is disappointing, but hopefully, that will change one day, with any luck.

     So for now, many of you can find the song here.

     Thankyou all for your patience, and for all the great feedback.  I really love hearing from you !

I’m very pleased to let you know that My Jazz CD “Beginning To See The Light” is now available digitally!

Giving new life to old music has always been fascinating and means a lot to me. My first professional release was Jazz instead of pop as I was greatly influenced by my friend Michael Buble as well as the vocal jazz performances in Vancouver. I blogged more about that here.
Music by Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, and the ‘Crooners’ reminds me of wonderful music that brings me where I am today in the music world. I grew up listening to meaningful music and lyrics from Jo Stafford, Peggy Lee, and Judy Garland. What I liked the most about this kind of music was the purity in their vocals and meaningful lyrics. My passion for music led me to explore and study flute, piano, singing and acting.

Through my album of jazz classics ‘Beginning To See The Light’ I have rediscovered my passion for 80’s pop and disco music, and realized that despite my love for Jazz, that is my true calling.
I am touched to hear that my album has a nostalgic touch and has brought back fond memories of high school days to many of my listeners. Working hard and hearing that my work has touched someone’s life with sweet memories brings me the satisfaction and confidence to create more such music.

Talking about ‘Beginning To See The Light’, I am thrilled with the wonderful reviews from my international listeners over the years. Friends and fans have recognized my work on this CD… One of my fans wrote she likes ‘Beginning To See The Light’ so much that she listens to this CD whenever she is home. The first song on the album has received great reviews. We worked very hard and spent a great deal to put this album together in the best way possible and it is so delightful to hear from listeners that “the songs have been beautifully arranged to make my voice shine”. Hearing it being called a “playful yet sophisticated arrangement” was such a motivation to make this album available in more than just CD format, as individual songs as well through iTunes, Napster, Rhapsody, eMusic, Amazon MP3, Groupietunes for mobile ringtones, and more, linked on my music page. It’s also available in regular CD format on CD Baby.

I am thankful to all my friends and listeners for promoting my work mostly through word of mouth. I believe it is a great strength to have such wonderful people like you who ensure that I am able to bring out the best in my work and also that more people get to know my music.

     I just wanted to pop on here quickly and let everyone know that we will be putting up my 80’s Ballad on my website this week, so that all of you can listen to it.  I am very happy with how the song turned out, and it really is a song with a lot of meaning to me.  I can’t wait to share it with all of you, and hear your thoughts …

     I continue to be overwhelmed by all the e-mails and Facebook messages that I get from friends, family, and fans, asking about what I’m working on musically, and when my next song will be released.  It really feels great to know that so many people care, and are interested.  I never get tired of answering questions, or talking about my music, since it is something that I am really excited about.

     I love hearing from all of you, and appreciate your support, and words of encouragement.  Many of you have, in the past, used word of mouth, or links from your own sites, to direct people to where they can buy my 1st CD.  It’s pretty cool when your own friends are actively promoting you, without even having been asked.  Stuff like that just blows me away.  You know who you are, and you know how much your actions mean to me.

     I may have changed genres for the time being, but I hope that all of you will continue to let others know when you like the songs I put out.  I always love hearing your comments, as well, so please let me know your thoughts.  Thanks again to everyone who has supported me on this journey - I look forward to having you by my side as we move forward with my music this year.

     I just got off the phone with my good friend and Producer,  Jarome Matthew.  We had a good long talk - over an hour, in fact - and we are both really excited about the songs we are currently working on together.  We are planning on getting my 2nd single ( the 80’s Ballad ) up soon on my website, so everyone can hear it.  We’re very pleased with how it turned out, and we can’t wait to hear what all of you think.

     Jarome has been working on my 3rd single, and we’ve even had help from yet another “Sam The Record Man”  co-worker of ours from the late 80’s/early 90’s on this track …. but I’ll tell you more about that as the song gets closer to completion.  It’s kind of cool that there are several of us that worked together in that store all those years ago that are still living in the Vancouver area, and not only have we kept in touch, but we support each others’ projects, whether it be art, or music. 

     We have a lot of things planned for 2009, so please check back frequently to find out how the 80’s music is coming along - I’ll keep you posted.

     I would like to start off the New Year by wishing my family, friends, and everyone else who has been following my musical journey, a fabulous 2009 !  I hope that this will be a great year for everyone. 

     Before I talk about my plans for this new year, I would like to reflect back on 2008, and all the changes it brought for me.  As many of you know, it was the year that I made a lot of major decisions about my life.  I wasn’t feeling much joy in my day job any more, we were living in a tiny, old, noisy apartment for many years, and we were tired of all the noise and traffic in the city.  We decided to do something about it - all of it, at once, actually.  I left my job, which was probably the best decision I’ve ever made in many ways, as my stress level has gone way down since then.  We gave our notice at our tiny apartment, stopped throwing away rent money into someone else’s pocket, and finally purchased our first home. ( yes, rather late in life, but better than not at all .) Lastly, we left the big city to move somewhere much more peaceful, where the pace of life is not so rushed.  All of these have turned out to be good decisions for us, as our quality of life has vastly improved.  Of course, as my Producer and friend Jarome Matthew said soon after all these changes, ” making one major life change is huge, but changing all these big things at once is nothing short of overwhelming ” -  he was so right.  There have certainly been times when I have wondered if we made all the right choices …. but then I quickly come to my senses, and realize that we did what he had to do to try and make our life better.  We have had to make a lot of adjustments, and we miss being able to see some of our family and friends as often as we used to, but the important people in your life always stay in touch.  ( you know who you are, and how much I love you all !!! )

     Now that we’ve had a few months to settle in to our new life, and all that it entails, we are ready for a fresh start in 2009.  I have been keeping very busy with a lot of different tasks over the last while, but am now feeling totally ready to focus on moving forward with the 80’s Music Project that Jarome and I started in 2008.  I was already very happy to be working with him, but now that he has launched his Pro Soul Record Label, things are going to be even more exciting this year !

     I will write more soon, and let you know how things are going.  Thankyou all again for your love and support - and I will say it once again - it really is your encouragement that keeps me following my dreams !!!