As some of you may recall, in the Spring of 2009, I started talking about wanting an Acoustic Guitar.  My Birthday is in June, so when people started asking what I wanted, I mentioned that contributions towards a Guitar would be much appreciated. It really was the only thing I wanted.

     I had played Guitar once before in Highschool, in Ontario - my friend Sandra had spent an afternoon teaching me a song I really liked. I wasn’t interested in learning chords or anything - I just wanted to learn that song, that day, and that’s what we did. She played a few notes, I copied then, we strung it together, and that was that.

     Since I moved up here to the Sunshine Coast of B.C. 2 years ago, I figured that I needed to find a fairly portable instrument to accompany myself when singing.  ( my piano isn’t portable ) When I was in Vancouver, I had some Musicians I played with from time to time, but up here, I don’t know very many yet.  I figured it was up to me to find a way to be able to sing, without having to rely on anyone else. I’ve always wanted to learn how to play Guitar, so figured this was the perfect solution.

     Not knowing anything about Guitars, I asked a friend from Highschool, Tal Bachman, for some advice on buying my 1st Guitar, since he has a lot of experience with them.  He was very kind and patient as I asked a ton of questions, and even broke down what kind of strings, picks etc. would be best for me.   I started out only knowing I wanted a black acoustic, but by the time we had many discussions about it, I knew a lot more.

     It was decided that I would get a Yamaha FG 720S ( all black) , Jim Dunlop ( nylon ) .60 mm picks, and .10 or .11 gauge ( but no heavier ) strings.  Tal felt the body size of that particular model would be good for a woman. 

     We had been talking about it online for a couple of months, so when June rolled around, and my husband and I were finally able to get into the city, and to Tom Lee, I was very excited.  My husband wanted me to actually see the Guitar, and hold it, to make sure it was what I really wanted, before we got it.  Of course, I was distracted when I saw a gold glitter-covered electric guitar hanging from the ceiling - and swore it would be my next guitar, after I mastered the Acoustic.

     I looked at the guitar I wanted, saw that it was shiny and black, picked it up,  and liked the way it felt.  I pulled out Tal’s checklist, found my strings, picks, and a strap, and the guy threw in a book for good measure.  We got a soft case for carrying, and walking down Granville St. for the very first time with my new guitar in hand, I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.

     Fast forward just over a year, and my Guitar has had a long sleep.  It still has the paper on the strings. I have been thinking about it a lot lately, wishing I had time to learn to play it … and now I am determined to just do it.  It’s so easy to let the fact that you work full time, have errands to run, a house to clean, want to spend time with friends and family make you forget that sometimes, you have to make time to do things just for you. This is important to me, it’s something I really want to do, and I’m going to find the time, somewhere, somehow.

My First Guitar

Books, Strings, Picks, Strap

     It’s been a couple of weeks since I have written a blog post. I’d like to say it’s because I’ve been out enjoying the Summer weather, but there hasn’t been much of that yet around these parts.  We are still waiting for some hot, dry weather to arrive, but probably shouldn’t hold our breath for that one … we’d be better off to just hop on a plane for Vegas.

     June is a very busy month for me, and my family - lots of Birthdays, and Anniversaries. This year, June was a very special month - my Parents celebrated their 60th Wedding Anniversary, and my Mom, her 80th Birthday.  I was fortunate enough to be able to take some of my holiday time so that we could meet up with some other family members, and help celebrate these very special occasions. It was so nice to be able to be there.

     We had a lovely dinner out together, and spent a few days visiting, chatting, playing cards - all things we used to do when we were all living under the same roof.  It’s funny how things you used to take for granted as a child, feel so much more special when you don’t see everyone as often as you’d like to. 

     I have always admired my parents for the fact that they have been happily married for so long.  Even when I was little, I never heard an unkind word, or a raised voice in that house.  They were, and still are, a loving, kind couple, who taught us so many important things about how to treat others, how to be compassionate, patient, understanding, honest, hardworking, modest and humble - all traits that I hold dear to this day.

     My Mom’s health hasn’t been the greatest in the past few years, so getting to witness her turn 80 made me very happy.  She is one of the sweetest, most gentle people I have ever known, and seeing her in such a fragile state is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever witnessed. I am just so very grateful for every day we have with her.

     It was good to see so many family members in one place.  The hard part is always saying “Goodbye”, not knowing when you will be able to see them again.  For now, I am just thankful that we were able to help celebrate these very important events.

      Recently, it was announced that they were going to have a ” Sunshine Coast Karaoke Idol ” Contest at the Legion.  I have been to enough Karaoke nights there to know that there are some extremely talented singers around, so I didn’t think I would try out.  I also don’t really like competition, or being judged in public, so was definitely shying away from the prospect of auditioning for the Contest.  They held 3 weeks of auditions - the first week slipped by, then the second, and I still didn’t go.  I was worried that the “good ” feeling we all had on our Karaoke nights, that warm, encouraging feeling, may disappear in a competitive setting.  I didn’t want things to change.  I probably had at least 10 reasons why I shouldn’t audition. ( in my own mind )

     I thought about it long and hard, about how much I love to sing. I have been up here on the Sunshine Coast for just over 2 years now, and haven’t really ” put myself out there ” musically, yet.  It was so easy in Vancouver - I had lots of contacts there, knew a lot of musicians etc, and there were always places to play.  Being still fairly new to the Coast, and quite shy, I hadn’t really talked to very many people about my singing.  I decided that it was time to at least try and get myself heard a little bit.  I had to start somewhere, and what better place than a friendly, familiar environment?

     So, on the third week of auditions, I gave it a shot.  I made it in, and at the end of May, our Contest began.  I met some wonderful ladies along the way - all of whom clearly love to sing.  It was so nice to get to know them, and see the joy in their eyes, and the beautiful smiles on their faces, as they did what they love best.  There is nothing quite like watching someone doing what they are truly passionate about - it is an amazing sight to behold. 

     The weeks went by, we sang different genres each week ( which challenged us, and helped us grow as vocalists ) and we all helped each other get through our nerves, which were aplenty throughout the Contest.  This past Friday, June 11th, it was down to 3 of us, and we had the Finale.

Laura, Heather and Krystal

Jac, Dani and Bob

The Ladies Wait For The Results

Top 3

     When I was a young girl taking piano and singing lessons, my teacher encouraged me to write songs, as well.  I had always written a lot of poems, short stories etc., and was fairly certain of my ability to string words together.  I have always been a very meticulous person in pretty much all I do, and writing is no exception.  ( thus, brevity is not my strong suit, as anyone who knows me well can tell you:)   I like to be extremely descriptive, and not leave out even the slightest detail.

     As a teenager, I wrote a lot of poems, most of which, admittedly, were about boys.   ( and mostly concerning unrequited love )  I found that by far, my best writing came about after some boy had broken my heart.  Probably the only thing I miss ( emotionally ) about being a teenager, is the ability to feel so deeply.  Everything seems so incredibly important, symbolic, life-altering, at that age.  When the one you adored left you, ( or showed no interest to begin with ) it seemed as though you could never possibly feel that way again, ever, in your entire life.  Ah, the drama - it’s nice to be able to look back on it now, smile, and shake my head…

     There is something to be said for taking raw emotions like sadness, hurt etc. and turning them into powerful lyrics.  Songwriters have obviously been doing it forever, which is why, to this day, a favourite ballad can tug at our heartstrings.  When I wrote as a teenager, the intention was purely therapeutic - it was my safe way of letting go of my sadness, and I definitely had a lot of that, which meant I wrote a lot.  I still have an old folder full of all my poems and stories, which I found when I moved almost 2 years ago.  I found it fascinating being able to read them, thereby “climbing” back into my own teenage brain, and feeling so many intense emotions .  It was kind of cool, actually.

     I have always been a pretty private person - I like my privacy, and respect that of others.  I don’t think I ever intended on letting anyone else read the things I had written - they were just for me, to try and deal with disappointment, and any other negative emotions I may have been feeling at the time.  I firmly believe that incredible things can happen if you have the ability to harness any negativity you may feel, turn it around, and redirect it into something positive, and powerful.  I would like to do that with some of my words from the past, and even some from the present. 

     Doing cover songs is always fun - you get to sing songs you know well, and love, but as an indie artist, a vast amount of time and expense is required to cut through all the red tape to get yourself heard that way.  My last single took us nearly a year to get on iTunes, and even then, we still couldn’t get on U.S, iTunes, due to licensing agreements specific to the songwriter.  In short, if you are not “famous” already, few care to give you a chance.

     Anyway, my point is that, although I wonder if anyone would really want to hear what I have to say, I am going to get back to writing some lyrics this Summer.  Worst case scenario - I work through some negative emotions … best case, I write about something real that someone else can relate to, and maybe even dance to.

          When people find out that I sing, they often ask me, ” Where can I get you music ? “.  Many people prefer to download their songs now, so everything I’ve recorded so far ( both the Jazz stuff, and the 80’s tunes ) can easily be found on iTunes. 

          If you would rather have an actual CD to play, and if you like Big Band/Swing/Lounge Music from the 1920’s - 1950’s, then CD Baby is where you can order my CD called “I’m Beginning To See The Light “.  There are not many copies left, so if you’ve been thinking about getting a copy of my very first CD, then the time is right …

           I am so grateful to all of you that have already purchased my CD, and/or downloaded some of my songs.  It really means a lot to me to have your support, and your feedback is always appreciated, as well.  Some people seem to like the older music best, while others dig the 80’s songs.  It is always great to hear what you like most, and why.  Please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts on my music - I’d love to hear from you !

          Right now, I am rehearsing a new 80’s style song, and will likely be recording it in the Spring, now that my Producer Jarome Matthew  is finally home from a busy trip away, working with various other Pro-Soul  Artists.  I am looking forward to getting back into the Studio and recording, as well as hearing all about Jarome’s trip, and all the amazing music he produced while travelling. 

          My last two 80’s songs were cover tunes, but the one we’re working on right now has never been heard by the general public, so we are very excited about it.  We’ll keep you posted …

     I was talking to a friend of mine a few years ago ( who happens to be a very wise woman ) about the fact that I was tired of life being such a struggle, full of disappointments, and basically just so difficult, at times.    I had recently lost several good friends  - most in their 40’s - to various things, such as heart attacks, and cancer.  A close relative had a stroke, and a couple others were ill, as well.  I was unhappy with the job I was at, and tired of the routine - working hard to try and pay the bills, and having little time or energy left over for much else.

     I told her that I didn’t feel very hopeful at the time, since I was surrounded by so many sad things.  I felt as though I couldn’t cry any more, and it just didn’t feel like there was much to look forward to.

     Earlier that day, as I was walking to her place to visit her, the sun was shining on my face, and it made me feel kind of giddy. ( I love the feeling of the warm sun on my skin - it always makes me feel good. )  When I told her that, she looked at me seriously, and said ” All we have are moments “, and I didn’t quite “get” what she meant, at first.  She was referring to the fact that life is not one long series of wonderful events without anything negative - that is not reality.  Life is hard - sometimes extremely difficult - but real joy comes from recognizing those ” moments ” that make us smile, make us feel good, make us laugh, whatever.

     We need to focus on those moments - even if they are rare, and brief - instead of all the other sad, disappointing , unfulfilling things in our lives.

     I remember telling her at the time that I only had those kinds of moments maybe 3 or 4 times a year, and she thought that was sad, if it were true.  She pointed out that the way the sun on my face made me feel was one, the way I felt when I was on a dancefloor, ( so free ) the feeling I got when a friend hugged me … and it started to sink in.

     It has been several years since that conversation, and many things have happened and changed in my life since then - both good, and bad - but I have come a long way in terms of how I view life.  Yes, life is still difficult, and things certainly don’t always turn out the way you think/hope they will, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it.  I am much better at recognizing the ” little things ” that often go unnoticed, or get taken for granted - the things that genuinely bring a smile to my face, or make me feel good.

     For me, it can be a breathtaking view from a cliff overlooking the water, after a long hike, or the feeling of a friend’s arms around me whom I haven’t seen in months.  It is anything that brings me joy, warms me, makes me smile for real - simple things, unplanned things.

     Life may not be everything we want it to be all of the time, but if we are open to it, pretty much every day has at least one ” moment ” worth noting.  Those are the times I now focus on, and enjoy - and it helps get me through the rest.

     Last year, some of you may recall, I wrote a blog post called  ” Taking A Stand ” ( Feb. 23rd 2009 ) which had to do with Anti-Bullying Day.  This year, the date to wear our pink shirts etc. to let everyone know that bullying is NOT acceptable any time, any place is Wed. April 14th, 2010.

     I have cut and pasted below part of my post from last year, as it pretty much sums up my feelings on the subject:

Anyone who has either witnessed bullying, or been a victim of it, can tell you how damaging and far-reaching the effects can be.  Although physical attacks are horrible, it’s the psychological damage that can be done to a victim that can be even more scary.  The effects of a bully’s cruel words can last well into adulthood. 

     I have seen many talkshows where victims of bullies want to face them, and tell them how they ruined their lives, and the sad thing is: many of the bullies either don’t remember the person, don’t remember doing it, or say ” it was a joke “.  Well, it’s not a joke.

     Bullies tend to pick on people they view as “weak” - kind, gentle, sweet people, who can’t/won’t fight back.  Obviously, the bully has self-esteem issues him/herself, or they wouldn’t need to appear ” tough ” or “cool “, or whatever their warped mind perceives their actions to make them.  As an adult, it’s easy to see that bullies have unhappy lives themselves, or they wouldn’t feel the need to try and make someone else feel lower than them.  As a child, however, the victim of a bully only feels worthless.  Public humiliation only re-enforces these feelings.

     Unfortunately, bullying does not stop in the schoolyard.  There seems to be one in every workplace, as well.  It may not be as obvious ( they may not physically or verbally threaten others ) but they may just be loud and obnoxious, boss others around ( delusions of grandeur, perhaps ? ) and act like they own the place.  What I don’t get, is why does society tolerate any of this ?  What ever happened to being nice to one another ?  I guess that takes more effort, and many people aren’t capable of caring about anyone beyond themselves. ( victims of bad parenting, I daresay . )

     Anyway, I hope that everyone who cares about others will wear pink on April 14th,  support all the victims of bullying, and send a clear message that bullying is not acceptable, and definitely not cool.

     You can find more info on this year’s events here.

Pink Shirt Day 2010

     One of my favourite movies as a little girl was 1959’s ” Gidget “, starring Sandra Dee ( as the title character ) and James Darren as ” Moondoggie “.  I always liked how the sweet, well-mannered, wholesome Gidget ended up with the dreamy, handsome Moondoggie.  ( it gave us girls hope that our “old - fashioned ” upbringing may pay off one day )

Gidget Poster

     I had a huge crush on James Darren from the first time I saw that movie until …well … I guess I still do. ( my husband thinks it is cute, by the way ) My biggest dream as a child was to meet ” Moondoggie ” one day.  Years went by, I saw James Darren in other movies and T.V. shows ( T.J. Hooker, Star Trek DS9, just to name a couple ) and I always held on to the crazy fantasy of one day meeting him face to face,  just to make the ” little girl ” in me happy.

James Darren

Oh, Moondoggie!

To this day, I keep one of the pictures of us hung in a prominent place in my home, for those times when I think life isn’t going as I’d like it to.  When I feel down, it reminds me that dreams really can come true.  The trick is, sitting around and waiting for something good to happen isn’t the way to do it - we may be waiting for a very long time.  If we want something badly enough, we just have to go out there and get it, and if we need help with that, then we must not be too shy to ask.  I know I’m glad I did.

     I would like to start the New Year off by wishing all of you a very happy, healthy, and prosperous 2010 !  2009 was, by many accounts, a very difficult year for most of us, with the bad economy and all.  It has been a struggle just to get by, to try and keep food on the table and a roof over our heads. Many people had their hours cut back, or lost their jobs entirely. It was a tough year - full of struggles, dampened hopes, and many tears.

     Somehow, we made it through, and although we may be stronger for it, it still wasn’t pleasant.  I, for one, am glad to see the end of 2009, as it was definitely not one of the better years in my life, or for many people I know.

     I recently made a comment on Facebook about how I look forward to the ” feeling ” ( whether that be perceived or real ) of a ” clean slate ” when a new year approaches.  It really doesn’t matter if it is simply how we view it, or if it is real - what matters is what we do with it.  Personally, I think of it as having hope that things will improve, that we will be given a ” fresh start “, that we have another chance to make good choices - choices that will improve our lives, and hopefully, the lives of others.

     I am not one to make New Year’s Resolutions per se, and broadcast them to anyone who will listen, but today, I have already written down a list of goals for myself for this year.  Telling people the things you are ” going to do ” is great, and it is a positive thing to actually speak the words and ” put it out there “, but the older I get, the more I realize I’d rather “do” than just “say”.  It is very easy to say things, but much harder to actually put in the time and effort, and make them happen.  The way I see it, I have my personal list, and as I accomplish items on that list, I will share them with family and friends.  I have nothing to prove to anyone - my list is simply for me, and the people that care about me will be happy when I put my hopes into action….

     I hope that all of you have hopes, dreams, or goals that you want to realize this year - things that you enjoy but have perhaps put off, things that you don’t feel are important enough, whatever the case may be.  If there is some thing you love to do, or would love to try ( and it isn’t hurting anyone else ) - why not let this be the year you actually do it, or try it?  I know I say this all the time, but life really is too short to only dream/wish/hope/imagine, and not DO something to make yourself happy.  It is very easy to blame others, or your financial situation, or your work environment, ( or any number of things ) or find reasons why you shouldn’t or ” can’t ” do things for yourself - believe me, I know - but ultimately, all excuses or fears aside, nobody else can make us happy.  All we have to do is love ourselves enough to make the things we hope for become our reality.  If you feel you can’t do it on your own, friends and family always have words of encouragement for you to follow your dreams, and that will get you through even the darkest of times.

     On that note, I would, once again, like to thank everyone who has supported me during this hard year - knowing you believe in me, and my music, gives me great strength.  Whether it be kind words of encouragement, compliments on things I have accomplished, buying my CD or downloading a song, or most importantly - being there with a hug when I need it most - your support has helped me enormously. Your continued faith in me is truly what keeps me going.

     All the best to you, and your families, for a fabulous 2010 !

     I recorded ” I Want To Know What Love Is ” over a year ago, and have been patiently waiting for things to fall into place so that we could finally get it up on iTunes.   It has been a long road, but we have achieved partial success.  The reason I say partial, is that due to licensing issues (  long story ) we were able to get it up pretty much everywhere, except in the U.S.A.  This is disappointing, but hopefully, that will change one day, with any luck.

     So for now, many of you can find the song here.

     Thankyou all for your patience, and for all the great feedback.  I really love hearing from you !